


Please, I'm Not Ready

by ClexaCreampuff



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drinking, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Model Lexa, Photographer Clarke, Smut, Writer Lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-23 04:17:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8313694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClexaCreampuff/pseuds/ClexaCreampuff
Summary: She didn’t finish her sentence because at that point, she looked up and saw the girl at the register. Beautiful? Gorgeous? Angelic? Badass? How could someone be angelic and look like they could kick your ass?OrClarke hasn't fully dealt with the death of her father or her boyfriend, Finn. She's currently struggling to find the inspiration to complete her series for an upcoming gallery opening. Cue a mysterious brunette angel that threatens to cause Clarke to forget the English language.





	1. Chapter 1

Clarke was on her way back to her apartment from her parents’ home just outside of DC. It was only for the weekend, but she was frustrated and exhausted from listening (but not really listening) to her mother lecture her for the hundredth time that she should return back to medical school instead of ‘dabbling’ in art. Abby meant well. She understood that following in her mother’s footsteps and becoming a doctor would be more financially stable, but ever since her father died two years ago, she stopped listening to what other people wanted for her and started to listen to what her heart was whispering. Since she was little, she loved art, especially photography. And art was something that linked her to her father because it was something they would do together. So Clarke decided after his death that she would move to DC and pursue a career in art there.

Clarke stopped by a gas station one last time before getting back into the city. She decided to step into the convenience store to grab a red bull for the last leg of the trip while the pump finished filling the tank. Grabbing the red bull and some sunflower seeds on the way to the register, she started pulling out money from her purse.

“Just the red bull and sunflower seeds for you tonight?”

Not looking up from shuffling through bills, Clarke answered, “That’ll be all.” And added under her breath, “Unless you sell something that will stop my mother from—“

She didn’t finish her sentence because at that point, she looked up and saw the girl at the register. Beautiful? Gorgeous? Angelic? Badass? How could someone be angelic and look like they could kick your ass?

“What was that second part?” the girl questioned, her eyebrow arching up so perfectly.

That brought Clarke out of her stupor. Shaking her head, she said, “No-nothing. Uh…That’s all.” Oh great Clarke, you sound so smart right now. She mentally smacked herself on the forehead.

The girl smiled ( _What a dazzling smile_ ). “It’ll be $4.89.”

Clarke handed over a ten-dollar bill, trying not to visibly shake. When she received back the change, their hands brushed ever so lightly, causing Clarke to blush.

The girl smiled again ( _OMG that smile will be the death of me_ ) and said, “Thank you. Have a great rest of the night!”

After Clarke returned the pump hose into its cradle and got into her car again, she swore up and down, wishing she could have said something more interesting. Maybe complimented the girl? She wished she was smoother. Talking about smooth, the girl’s skin was so smooth. She wished she had taken the girl’s hand and said something memorable. Oh shit! She should have at least got the girl’s name. Clarke sighed and then turned on the engine.

* * *

 

As Clarke crossed the threshold of her apartment, her roommate leapt over their sofa and threw herself into a hug.

“How was the big weekend with Abby? Did she jump your bones about medical school and getting a boyfriend? Ha! And speaking of boys, I met this really cute guy last night at that new bar we’ve been meaning to check out downtown. He owns the bar and his name is Lincoln and I swear we are meant to be. Do you believe in soulmates? Because I think I’m going to ask him out if he doesn’t call me this upcoming week. We really hit it off. We are so meant to be!”

Staggering a little with the weight of her weekender bag, roommate, and the word vomit, Clarke muttered, “Wow, O, I missed you too, but you gotta slow down.”

Octavia grinned, planted a kiss on Clarke’s cheek, and helped her take her bag to Clarke’s room.

Once both girls were comfortable on the sofa, Clarke answered, “Mom was as expected. You already know how she is. I did get to visit Dad though. And Lincoln, eh? Let me guess, he’s tall, dark, and handsome.” She phrased the last sentence as a statement.

“Oh you know how I like them. But I swear this one is different. He’s got the looks but he’s also crazy smart and has this sensitive side. He draws so I bet you two will get along!”

“That reminds me, I gotta finish my portrait series if I want to be ready for the gallery opening in three weeks. I’ve just been so stuck lately…”

“You always pull it together in the end, Clarke. Don’t worry about it. You just need to find somebody that inspires you. Like if I was doing this project, I would get Lincoln to model for me. He has such gorgeously ripped arms.”

Clarke semi zoned out as Octavia continued on about Lincoln. She was happy for Octavia. She really was. It’s just been a while since she was that happy wrapped up in a relationship, or at least in the anticipation of one. A few months after her father died, she found out her boyfriend at the time, Finn, was cheating on her with another woman. Before she could even process that information and really talk to him about whether there could be a future to their relationship, he died in a car accident. It was just over a year ago, but she never got to deal with the issue or find the closure she needed. She closed off her heart and now that she thought about it, she hadn’t really let herself become remotely interested in anyone else until tonight when she saw the beautiful register girl at the gas station.

“Hello! Earth to Princess! You got your head up in the clouds again. And did I see you give a small smile there? What’s that about?”

Clarke hadn’t realized she was zoning out, or smiling. Nevertheless, she decided it was time to turn in for the night. She was tired from the drive.

“Okay, Clarkey, I’ll let that one slide, but I know you’re holding out on me!” Octavia chuckled after her roommate as Clarke got up to get ready for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this fic almost fully written, but I'm going to post it in increments as my schedule allows.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke endures some more teasing, this time from the one-and-only Raven Reyes.

Clarke woke up the next morning to the blaring ring of her alarm clock. She rolled over and hit the top of her alarm, trying to remember the dream she was so rudely ripped out of. The cute register girl was in it. She smiled, beamed really. Looking at the clock again, she cursed, realizing the alarm must have been going off for half an hour or so. Clarke wasn’t too surprised. She knew she was a heavy sleeper and the weekend with her mother was exhausting. Thankfully Octavia was always out of the apartment earlier than her for her job as a barista in the nearby coffee shop.

Rolling completely off the bed this time, Clarke got up and started getting ready for the day. Clarke worked in the art gallery that would be showing her photo work in three weeks. She usually handled the business side of mediating the connection between artists and potential buyers. She grudgingly dragged herself to her closet to pick out something decent to wear.

* * *

 

Forty-five minutes later, Clarke was entering the coffee shop Octavia worked at. Her roommate looked up just as she walked up to the counter.

“Hey, Princess. You’re running late today. Give me a second to finish making this drink and I’ll whip up your usual.”

“Can you make it two? Like you said, I’m running late and I know Raven isn’t going to be happy about it…”

“Sure thing, Princess. I’ll even throw in some pumpkin bread. I know how much Rae loves those.”

“You’re the best, O!”

“And don’t you forget it!”

* * *

 

“It’s about time you came into work, Princess!”

Clarke sighed, “It’s good to see you too, Raven. I had an… interesting weekend with Mom. I did bring you coffee and pumpkin bread to make up for me being late though?” She held up the peace offering and gave her best puppy eyes.

“Alright, Princess. I forgive you.” Raven snatched the food out of Clarke’s hands and sat down. “But don’t even think for a second that I don’t know that you got all this at O’s coffee shop…FOR FREE. So thank your roommate for me.”

“Sure thing, Raven.”

Clarke took the time to look around the gallery main space while Raven stuffed more pumpkin bread into her mouth. She glanced at the beams of wood and sheet metal laying messily around the floor. There were some structures starting to take form scattered around the space.

“Looks like you’ve been busy.”

With food in her mouth, Raven replied, “Yeah some of us show up to work on time. And besides, I need some time to figure out how best to produce what Mr. Wallace described to me as a display that combines both the ‘raw energy of the primordial forest and the elegant sleekness of a metallic future’. Whatever that means.”

Clarke chuckled at the gallery owner’s words and said, “You’ll find exactly what Dante wants. He loves everything you do and that’s why he always asks you to create the installations that display the art. He says that they themselves are works of art.”

Raven smiled into her coffee. “My, my what sweet words coming out of your mouth this morning, Clarke.”

But Clarke could see that Raven was pleased.

After a moment, Raven asked, “How’s your photo series coming along? You find that inspiration yet?”

Clarke’s thoughts immediately went to the register girl. She had that demeanor of casual confidence that she bet would translate well onto camera. Once again Clarke mentally smacked herself on the forehead for not having the courage to introduce herself and get the girl’s name and contact information. Just for work purposes, of course.

“No. Not really. But maybe. Don’t tell O this, I would never hear the end of it, I stopped at that gas station I like on the way home last night and I met this girl—“

“Wait, wait. You met a girl? I knew I was turning you!” Raven teased.

Clarke couldn’t help but smile, red rising up her neck. “Shut up, Reyes. You know I was already bi before I met you. And it’s not what you think. I just think this girl has something that would fit into my photo series.”

Raven scoffed, “Yeah sure. Well did you at least introduce yourself and give her one of your cards? For work.” she laughed again.

Clarke looked down and started examining her shoes. They were suddenly very interesting.

“What?! You didn’t?! Come on, Princess. It’s been how long since you been on a date? I mean, it’s really soon before the opening. You gotta jump on that and get riding!”

Clarke rolled her eyes at Raven’s choice of words. “We can’t all be as smooth as you with the ladies, Reyes,” sarcasm dripping from her words.

“Damn right! But seriously, you should go back and ask her out. For work.” Raven cracked up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment and/or kudos <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven drags Clarke to see Lexa at her work. Lexa is a smooth mf and Clarke is adorably trying.

Clarke doesn’t know how she let Raven convince her. But she found herself after work outside said gas station, Raven dragging her into the convenience store. When Raven pushed through the door, jingling the attached bell, register girl looked up and smiled when she noticed the blonde girl being dragged by the brunette.

_Oh God she’s actually here and she’s witnessing this ridiculousness._

Raven gave Clarke a slight push toward the register and started toward the back of the store where the alcohol was.

“How can I help you today, miss? Another red bull and sunflower seeds?”

“No. I’m actually here because—Wait, you remembered what I got last night?” Clarke’s eyes went wide and snapped to the register girl’s face. She hadn’t noticed her eyes were so green.

“Well nights can get pretty boring and it’s not every shift I get such a cute blonde in here looking adorably flustered.” She flashed Clarke a smile that she could only describe as radiant.

Before she could lose courage, Clarke blurted, “Um…I actually came today (register girl’s eyebrow arched up and smirked) because I wanted to see if you’ve ever done any modeling work. Because you’re beautiful and I wanted to see if you would model for this photo series I’m doing?”

_Did I just call her beautiful?_ Clarke looked down. Her shoes were very interesting today.

“I’ve never been asked out this way. I’m usually the one making the advances on women.”

“Oh no, I’m not trying to ask you out! I didn’t even know you were into girls? Not that it would be bad if you were.” Clarke looked up quickly in growing horror, only to find the girl smiling crookedly. “You’re teasing me?” she asked hesitantly.

“You’re really cute when you’re flustered.”

Clarke looked down at her shoes again, feeling the blush reach her face.

“But no, I’ve never modeled for anything.” Register girl paused. “Is this your way of getting me naked?”

Looking up, Clarke saw the smirk on the girl’s face and knew she was teasing again, so she decided to retaliate a little, “It’s worked on all the other women.” She handed the girl a card and smiled to make sure the girl knew she was only teasing as well.

The girl broke out into a full-on grin and took the card. “Clarke Griffin, huh? That’s not a normal first name for a girl.”

“It’s not usual. My parents wanted to give me a more masculine name to put me on more even grounds with the rest of this masculine world. At least when I’m on paper. And your name, beautiful?”

“Alexandria, Alexandria Woods. But you can call me Lexa. All my friends do.”

Clarke felt her confidence surge, “And how about those who are more than friends?”

A glint crossed Lexa’s eyes. “They would have to find that out later.”

“Are you free any time this week. Maybe this Friday? I really do want to take your picture for a photo series I’m doing.”

“I’m working the morning shift, but I should be free by late afternoon or early evening.”

“Perfect. The studio address is on the card. Let’s say 6:30 pm?”

“That sounds great.” “Thanks, Lexa. I’ll treat you to dinner after as compensation, yeah?”

“It’s a date, Clarke.”

Clarke smiled at that, not correcting her, and turned to find Raven in the back peering over one of the aisles grinning like a fool.

Both girls walked out after Raven paid for the case of beer.

“So did you ask the girl out on a date? She’s hot!”

“Shut up, Reyes. It’s not a date. This is for work, remember?”

“Yeah, work.” Raven scoffed for the millionth time that day.

Clarke was beginning to regret having told Raven about the register girl, but quickly took it back. Raven was the one who got both of them out here and now she had a date with the girl. Lexa Woods. And by date, she meant work date, of course.

She smiled to herself nonetheless.

* * *

 

 

When Clarke arrived back at her apartment, she found Octavia already sitting on the couch in front of the TV with several boxes of Chinese takeout on the coffee table in front of her.

“Hey, Clarkey, grab a plate and come join me. The new Bachelor is on. It’s already getting shit crazy.”

“Thanks, O, you really are the best friend ever! Raven thanks you for the coffee and pumpkin bread. How was your day?”

“You’re chipper tonight, Princess. Anything to do with that little smile last night, hmm?” When she didn’t get a response from her roommate, she continued, “Work was fine. Some picky customers, the usual. Buuuut, guess what!” Not waiting for an answer, “Lincoln called me today! He asked me on a date and we’re going out tomorrow night!”

“That’s awesome, O! And I think I may have found the inspiration you were talking about last night.”

Octavia sat up very quickly. “You what?! Did you meet a guy? OMG you met a girl didn’t you? What does she look like? You’ve been hanging around Raven too much.”

Clarke didn’t have to say anything; Octavia could always read her so easily. She’s been best friends with Octavia since they were in 5th grade. They even roomed together in undergraduate.

“It’s not what you think, O. You know that gas station we stop by sometimes on the way back here? Well last night I went into the convenience store. The girl at the register just fit the look I’ve been trying to find for my photo series. And you know how I’m running up to a tight deadline… So I went back after work with Raven and asked her if she would model for me. She said yes, so I’m meeting her at the studio this Friday.”

“Is that really all, Clarke? Because if I didn’t know any better, I might think you have a tiny crush on said register girl. What’s her name anyways?”

“Lexa. And this is purely for work, O.” Octavia nodded, but there was a knowing smile on her lips.

_It’s only for work_. Clarke repeated again.

_Please, I’m not ready._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments and/or kudos <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke helps Octavia get ready for her date with Lincoln and learns more about Lexa.

The following night, Clarke found herself once again trying to calm Octavia’s nerves as her roommate paced her bedroom complaining she didn’t have anything nice to wear for her date.

“Clarke, I don’t like anything I have. Why didn’t I stop by the mall after work? OMG I haven’t done my make-up or my hair yet! He’s going to be here to pick me up in 30 minutes. Why did I agree to this? Why didn’t you stop me! OMG I’m gonna mess this up before he can even get to know me!”

“Woah, O. He’s probably better off not getting to know you anyway.” Clarke lightly punched Octavia in the arm to brighten up her mood.

“Ha. Ha. Very funny, Clarke. But seriously, what should I wear?!”

“Well you said you’re going to that new restaurant on 14th, so go with your dark blue super skinnies and that blouse you got last month. And I’ll help you with your hair and make-up.”

“OMG thank you, Clarke!”

* * *

 

While Clarke was helping Octavia straighten the back of her hair, they heard a knock at the front door.

“Clarke, shit! He’s here and I’m not ready yet. Can you please let him in and I don’t know, get him a drink or something?”

“Yeah, no problem, O.”

Clarke left Octavia in the bathroom frantically trying to make the finishing touches on her look and went to open the front door. She was met with a tall, admittedly handsome, hunk of a man. Clarke immediately understood why her roommate was so attracted to him.

“Hi, Lincoln? You’re in the right place. Octavia is just finishing getting ready. I’m her roommate, Clarke. Why don’t you come in?”

“Nice to meet you, Clarke.” He smiled at her and stepped through the frame.

Leading Lincoln to the couch, she asked, “Can I get you something? Some water? We have some random beers leftover from a recent party in the fridge that you’re welcome to.”

“No, I’ll just have some water. Thank you.”

While Clarke walked to the kitchen to get him a glass of water, his phone rang. On the way back to the couch, Clarke caught the tail end of the conversation.

“– you right now, Lexa. I’m about to go out on a date. Yes, I’ll call you back tomorrow, sis.”

The name immediately caught Clarke’s attention. She didn’t know too many Lexas. She decided to pry a little.

“Octavia never mentioned your last name.”

“Oh I don’t think I ever told her. It’s Woods.”

She hesitated before asking, “You don’t happen to be related to an Alexandria or Lexa Woods?”

“You know her? Yeah, Lexa is my sister.” His smile fell. “Wait, how do you know her…? Or I should say, how _well_ do you know her? She didn’t…did you call her…?”

Clarke started blushing because the tone he used suggested a physical, intimate knowledge. “It’s nothing like that, Lincoln. I met Lexa at her work recently. I’m a photographer and I asked her to be my model. I’m meeting her this Friday for a shoot.”

She saw Lincoln physically relax.

Before she could ask anything further about Lexa, Octavia walked out of her bedroom looking flawless. Lincoln clearly noticed because his eyes were wide and his jaw slightly slacked.

“Alright, lovebirds, have a great night and let me know if I need to leave the apartment or something… Actually on second thought, I’m just going to spend the night at Raven’s.”

She’s not entirely sure if either Octavia or Lincoln heard her.

As she walked back to her room to gather some clothes up and call Raven, she couldn’t help think back to Lincoln’s reaction of her knowing Lexa. Why did he tense up like that? Did Lexa have a history of one-night stands and one-sided romances with women?

_Wait. Why do I even care? It’s not like it’s any of my business. And it’s not like I’m interested in her like that. Right?_

She tries to breathe out the tightness in her chest.

* * *

 

An hour later, Raven opened her apartment door for Clarke.

“What’s with the frown, Princess? And here I thought I was being a good friend providing you a safe haven away from the heteros.”

Clarke couldn’t help laughing at that.

“Whatever the problem is, Princess, I know some Netflix and ice cream can fix it.”

Half way through another episode of _Orphan Black_ , Raven turned to Clarke, noticing that she was still wearing a frown. She paused the show.

“Okay, Clarke, you must be in some major shit. Spill.”

Clarke sighed, “It’s nothing really. I mean. It’s nothing.”

“Princess, _Orphan Black_ is like your favorite show. It can’t be nothing.”

Clarke knew Raven wouldn’t let up. She sighed and relayed what Lincoln had said and how he acted.

“So do you think – you maybe have more than a purely work-based desire for pursuing Lexa as a model?”

Clarke tensed.

“It’s okay if you do, Clarke.” She paused before reaching her arms around Clarke, adding softly, “Not everyone is Finn.”

Clarke stayed tense for only a moment longer before relaxing into her embrace.

“I know.”

_Please, I’m not ready._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Clarke and Lexa's date, I mean photo shoot. As always, leave comments and/or kudos <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa shows up to Clarke's studio for the shoot. Plus, an obligatory The 100 reference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally planned the photo session to be one chapter, then it became a monstrosity. So now it's split up into three for easy digestibility.

“Hey, Clarke, can you give me a hand here?”

“Yeah, give me a second.”

Clarke put down the photos she was rifling through in preparation for the upcoming opening and turned to face Raven.

“Could you hold this beam upright like this?”

Clarke walked around the desk to help Raven put together the display.

“It’s really coming along, Raven. Dante was in here last night after you left and was very pleased with the direction you’re taking.”

“Oh yeah, the night after I so graciously sheltered you, I got into this post-apocalyptic show on Netflix. Human kind survived a nuclear fallout situation, lives in space for a while, and then comes back to earth like a hundred years later to find earth reclaimed by nature. But apparently some humans survived the nuclear war and everyone starts fighting? I don’t know. But the important thing is, it gave me the inspiration for the whole metal and wood thing coming together.”

“Okay, so humans don’t learn their lesson.”

“Exactly.” Raven adds suggestively, “Tomorrow is Friday.”

“Yes, Raven. Tomorrow is Friday.” Clarke knew why Raven brought the date up. She’s been thinking about her shoot with Lexa all week. More than anything, she was nervous about being alone with someone like Lexa.

_It’s not a date._

She wasn’t sure if she wanted it to be.

* * *

 

Friday evening. Clarke stands in the middle of the studio getting her lenses ready when she hears a motorcycle engine approach, cut off, and the kickstand engaged. Setting down the camera, Clarke walks to the front door to greet presumably Lexa. She is wholly unprepared for the view she is presented with. Lexa flips her hair as she takes off her helmet and runs a hand through to loosen the tangles. She’s wearing black leather pants ( _goddamn tight leather pants_ ) and a low-cut white v-neck with a black leather jacket and black combat boots.

Clarke realizes she must have been staring when she hears Lexa clear her throat. _Her throat. God her throat. Fuck I don’t need to be thinking about that. Don’t look down at her collar bones. Shit. Why did I look?_

“He-ey, Lexa, it looks like you found the studio without a problem. Come on in! I’ll give you a short tour of the place.”

Attempting to keep her blush in check, Clarke turns around, knowing Lexa must be following with the sound of boots behind her.

“The studio has a small kitchenette and the bathroom is just around this corner. This place belongs to Dante Wallace, the director of the gallery I work for, but he’s allowing me to use it as a working space. We’ll be working just over there.”

Lexa slowly turns and takes in the space as Clarke talks. Her eyebrow shoots up when she sees a bed in one of the corners. There are professional light boxes around it.

“So you _are_ trying to get me naked.” Lexa smirks.

Clarke immediately flushes, “No! I know you’re teasing, but really the series I’m working on explores the intimacy and vulnerability that unfolds when people are in bed. Here I’ll show you some of my work so far.”

Clarke gestures to the far wall to some black and white photos on canvas of various people in various stages of undress. Lexa’s signature smirk is replaced with an expression of amazement.

“These are beautiful, Clarke! Wow, these are really breathtaking. Intimacy and vulnerability. You’re definitely capturing those here.”

Clarke lets a smile curve her lips. “Thanks, Lexa. That really does mean a lot to me.” Shifting closer to her camera equipment and the bed, “Whenever you’re ready, go ahead and sit on the bed. We’ll start with you fully dressed and we can make a decision if we want to go further and how far you want to go. Always remember that you are in control of this, Lexa. I don’t want you uncomfortable at any part of this session.”

Lexa’s smirk returns, “Good. I like to be in control. And I know my way around a bed. No need to worry about making me uncomfortable.” She moves to sit on the edge of the bed, propping her elbows on her knees, and lifts her face to Clarke expectantly.

Clarke lets the flirting roll off her shoulders as she readies the camera for the first frame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speaking of lesbians on motorcycles, the Carmilla movie?! Next chapter heavily features Lexa's tattoos. As always, leave comments and/or kudos <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa find out a little more about each other at the shoot.

Clarke lets her mind slip into a state where she can concentrate more on composing frames and less on the actual subject. At least that’s what she usually does. Now, now it seems difficult with Lexa as the subject. She admits to herself that Lexa is clearly beautiful and that she’s attracted to her. But she’s been attracted to some of the other models that posed for this series and it hasn’t been a problem. She, however, finds some solace in her present ability to take in Lexa’s beauty through the camera lens without coming off as a creep.

Lexa changes her pose a few times and follows the minimal suggestions Clarke has for positioning her face. She doesn’t need much direction and without prompting, Lexa starts shedding her leather jacket. Clarke inhales sharply and steps closer as Lexa’s biceps flex as she rolls up the sleeves of her v-neck to reveal some sort of tribal tattoo on her upper arm.

Going by the smirk, Lexa clearly noticed. “You like the tattoo?”

“It just surprised me. Does it have any meaning?”

“I got it done when I was 17. I was young and it looked pretty cool as my first tattoo. It doesn’t mean anything to me now except maybe serves as a reminder of a time when I was naïve and in love with my first girlfriend. The other tattoos on my body though… I’ll tell you about those when we get there.” Lexa throws a wink at Clarke.

Clarke felt her heartrate increase with the suggestion or promise that Lexa would be removing other articles of clothing.

As the session went on, Lexa lost her boots, her v-neck, and the tight leather pants that Clarke started realizing that she hated to see go. But with the expanse of skin now revealed, she wasn’t too hung up about it. Lexa, now only in a semi-see-through black lace bra and ( _of course_ ) black boxer briefs, moved further into the bed and closer to the headboard. As if Clarke was connected to Lexa with an invisible string, she followed, her knees hitting the edge of the bed. The abrupt contact jarred Clarke out of the spell she was under and she glanced down at her watch.

“Oh shit, it’s past 8:45 already. Hey, Lexa, let’s take a breather and I’ll order some food. Is pizza okay? I think I have some sodas and beers in the fridge.”

“Pizza sounds great. I’m fine with whatever toppings you want, Clarke.”

A shiver runs down Clarke’s spine. She’s unsure when Lexa speaking her name produced such an effect on her body. _When she started stripping, that’s when._ _Stop thinking about her body! God, get your mind out of the gutter._

“I’m gonna go call the pizza place and check the work email. Help yourself to whatever drinks you can find in the kitchen. There are some clean robes hung up in the bathroom, if you want.”

* * *

 

Clarke stops handling work emails and calls when she hears a knock at the front door. She pays for the pizza and sets it at the table where Lexa is currently seated sipping on a beer. That’s when she notices that Lexa opted to abstain from putting on her own clothes or the proffered robes. She wasn’t complaining, but this was just going to make it that much harder for her to have a normal conversation with the model.

Wanting to hopefully skip any awkwardness, Clarke launched at the first topic that came to mind, “So how about your other tattoos?” _Shit why did I have to ask her something about her body?_ She mentally slapped herself on the forehead.

Lexa seemed unfazed. Turning slighting in her seat to show Clarke her back, “I have one running down my spine. You’ve probably already seen the compass and arrow on my hips.”

Yes. That was a complete understatement. Of course Clarke noticed the other tattoos, especially the two on either side of Lexa’s hips, sitting just at her underwear line. Not to mention the obvious fitness level Lexa held herself to. Her arms were heavenly to look at, her legs were slim but muscled, and don’t even get started on her abs. Clarke admitted to herself that she must have a real thing for that level of ab definition in women when she felt the slickness in her underwear as she shifted in her seat.

Trying to distract herself, she continued to eat her pizza then asked, “Do those have meaning for you?”

Lexa smiles, “They do. I got the compass when I broke up with my first girlfriend. It was young love, my first love. I was in a pretty terrible place. I used to camp a lot as a kid and my parents taught us early on how to use a compass and the stars to find our way home. So I guess I slapped a compass on my body as a way to help get through probably the darkest time in my life.”

Lexa was quiet for a moment before she ran a hand over her face and started chuckling. “This next one is kind of embarrassing.” She pointed at the other hip to the arrow pointing down toward her crotch that looked like it came straight out of clipart. “I lost a bet in college to my best friend, Anya. We were drunk at a house party and I was boasting that I could give a girl, any girl, an orgasm in under 10 minutes. She bet that I couldn’t and propositioned herself. We’ve never done anything together beyond some casual kissing and some light touching, but all of a sudden it sounded like the best idea in the world. We were making out in one of the bedrooms and I surely had way too much to drink because when it came down to it, I couldn’t even find her vagina. I wasn’t even close. I was so drunk.” By now, both Clarke and Lexa were cracking up, Lexa’s eyes shut tight with mirth.

“To make matters worse, I passed out on top of her. And being the best friend that she is, my punishment for losing the bet was this tattoo to, according to Anya, make sure I knew where the vagina was on the next girl I tried sleeping with.” Clarke felt her chest pull as Lexa again started laughing.

Lexa continued, “The one running down my spine is an interpretive depiction of the universe. For me, it’s a reminder that we individually are so insignificant on the grand scale of things. But at the same time, we are all linked. Our destinies are intertwined together. The matter that makes up my body is the same type of matter that makes up your body, Clarke, and the same that builds the skyscrapers downtown, the Grand Canyon, and the breathtaking view we see in the cosmos.”

Clarke couldn’t help but be drawn into and closer to Lexa’s passion as she spoke. “Wow, you speak like you’re a writer or poet or something.”

A rare shy look crossed Lexa’s face. “I’m actually trying to finish up a book and find a publisher. I’ve written pieces for various online magazines. But they’re mostly to help pay the bills, like the gas station job.”

“I bet the book will be great. I can help read it if you need another set of eyes? And I bet Dante knows a publisher or two with his art community connections.”

“That’s – that’s really sweet of you. I know my brother would love not having to help support me financially anymore.”

At the mention of Lincoln, Clarke remembered the hesitation he showed when he found out she knew Lexa. She tried to push it aside. “I met your brother earlier this week. Lincoln right?”

Clearly surprised with mouth agape, “What? How?”

Clarke’s smile didn’t reach her eyes. “I met him when he came to pick up my roommate, Octavia, for a date. You came up because he was on the phone with you and I heard him say Lexa.”

“Oh, Octavia! What a coincidence. Is she blubbering about how well the date went and how much they’re into each other too?”

“O will be glad to hear that the feeling is mutual. But yeah, she’s been going on nonstop about the date and Lincoln in general.” The smile finally lit her eyes, but quickly dimmed.

_About how ready she is for another relationship. About how much I want to – how much I want to be ready. But I’m not, I’m not ready._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter includes some smutty smut smut. Leave comments and/or kudos.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa happens, but not in the way you may think.

It was well into the evening when Clarke and Lexa decided to clear the table of the pizza and drinks to return back to the session. As Lexa moved toward the bed once again, Clarke switched on her work playlist to the blue tooth speaker. Lexa sat against the headboard, spreading her legs for the camera, or was it for Clarke? Clarke wasn’t sure… only that Lexa clearly enjoyed riling her up. She really tried to slip into the part of her mind that could objectively look at the model before her. But she couldn’t control the warmth that was descending southward. It really has been too long since she connected with someone on an intimate level.

Lexa brought her hands up off the white sheets and started caressing herself around the face and neck.

_What the fuck? Is she trying to ruin me?!_

The clicks of the camera slowed as Clarke watched Lexa’s hand run across the swell of her chest, massaging her breasts and letting a finger of the other hand fall just passed her opened lips. Her breaths became shallower and more ragged as she watched Lexa reach behind her to unhook her bra with one hand and drag her other down the flat plane of her abs. By now Clarke was idly holding the camera apart from her face, all pretense of taking photos gone. Her eyes darted from Lexa’s now exposed chest to her hand travelling down toward the front of her underwear to her now heavily-lidded darkened eyes and parted pillowy lips. Clarke sucked in a quick breath and held it as Lexa’s fingers moved passed the border of her boxer briefs. And that’s when she heard the equally ragged breath coming from the model.

She saw the moment Lexa’s fingers hit her clit underneath her briefs, evident in the buck of her hips and the soft moan that escaped her lips. She heard, fucking heard, the moment Lexa slipped a finger down through her slick folds and brought the wetness up back to her clit.

Clarke stood stock still trying not to breathe, enraptured by the model slowly unraveling before her. As Lexa brought herself closer to release, she shut her eyes and leaned back against the headboard. The enchantment broken, Clarke remembered what she was supposed to be doing. Without the intensity of Lexa’s eyes boring into her, Clarke felt the confidence to approach closer. She climbed onto the mattress to stand over the unraveling woman.

Clarke hovered close to Lexa, almost straddling her. And that’s where she was when Lexa opened her eyes, reached out to take ahold of one of Clarke’s calves, and came with her darkened green eyes drilling into Clarke’s own sky blue ones and a breathy “Claaarrke” emitting from a perfect O.

_Shit. What the fuck am I supposed to do after that?_

In the relative aftermath, Clarke let the camera fall to her side as she listened to Lexa’s breathing slow and even out, eye contact unbroken through the entirety. When Lexa’s breath returned to normal, she let go of Clarke and removed her other hand out of her underwear and wiped it on the sheets. Clarke took that as her cue to turn around and get off the mattress.

“So… I want to thank you, Lexa, for coming over – Uh, I mean, allowing me to take your photo.”

Lexa’s knowing smirk was plastered on her face as she located her stripped clothes, green eyes following Clarke as she busied herself with needlessly arranging and rearranging her camera gear.

“Um… the gallery opening is gonna be in two weeks. You’re welcome to come – or, um… attend. I mean, if you wanna. I’m inviting all the models that participated in the series. It’ll be fun?”

“I’m sure it will be, Clarke. I would love to attend… or come… however you want me.” Lexa grinned. “I have your number from the card you gave me. I’ll text you to give you mine and you can text me the details of the event?”

“That sounds great, Lexa. Thank you again.”

* * *

 

The rumbling of Lexa’s motorcycle had long melted into the distance and the photos long transferred onto Clarke’s laptop. But Clarke was still seated at the table, her laptop in front of her. She flipped through some of the frames, lingering on the last dozen or so. Zooming in on Lexa’s face as she fingered herself, the dull throbbing in Clarke’s center lurched and intensified into a pounding need for release.

She couldn’t stop herself from getting up from the table, finding her feet leading her to the bed where Lexa touched herself to orgasm. Clarke stripped her clothes as she climbed on and laid face down right into the spot Lexa wiped her hands on the sheets. Inhaling deeply, she allowed the smell of Lexa to invade her senses before bringing her hand to touch her thundering center. She immediately sighed on contact. Knowing she was already dangerously close, Clarke flicked her clit a couple times before plunging two fingers into her ready entrance. With the images of Lexa’s actions in this very bed flipping through her mind, it didn’t take long before Clarke came undone. She came imaging the fingers currently curling into her front wall were the same fingers that wrapped so strongly around her calf just moments ago.

Breathing back to normal, Clarke felt the sudden wave of emotion crash down on her. She started sobbing, crying in an attempt to release the intensity of the connection she felt with Lexa, the fear that such a strong emotion reminded her of Finn. She cried, letting all the suppressed emotions of Finn’s betrayal and the loss of both him and her father burst to the forefront and spill onto the sheets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah? Y'all okay? Leave comments and/or kudos.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia and Clarke host a party. Of course Lexa is invited.

“Hey, Clarke, where were you last night? You didn’t come home.”

Clarke closed the door to their apartment. “Hey, O. I got caught up with the photo shoot last night, so I just decided to spend the night there.”

“With Lexa right? How’d it go?”

Images of the session flashed in her memory, not so innocent images. “Uh, it was great. Lexa is definitely not shy in front of the camera.” _Understatement of the year._

“That’s cool. You’ll have to show me some of the photos when you’re done editing them. I can help you choose which ones to print for the show like I helped with the others.”

Feeling suddenly very protective of the images she took of Lexa, “Um, thanks, O. I actually don’t think I’ll need much help choosing which ones I want to use for the show. Thanks though.”

Octavia narrowed her eyes at her roommate. “Well, okay… That’s good I guess. Anyway, I hung out with Raven yesterday and we were saying that we haven’t had a party here in a while. So we were thinking about throwing one tonight. I already invited the crew and Lincoln. He said he has a sister, so I told him to bring her too. I’m really excited to start meeting his family!”

“Yeah, I know. Lexa is Lincoln’s sister.”

“What?! No way! That’s so awesome. What’s she like? If he’s any indication, I bet she’s beautiful.”

_Beyond beautiful._ “Lexa is nice to look at, I guess. We didn’t talk too much during the shoot, but she’s a writer on top of the gas station job.”

To be honest, Clarke wasn’t too comfortable with occupying the same space as Lexa so soon, but she really wanted to support Octavia. She seemed so excited about her relationship with Lincoln and she didn’t want to in any way get in the trajectory of that.

So she added, “By the way, you can stop freaking out about where you stand with Lincoln. Lexa told me that he’s just as head-over-heels about you.”

Octavia squealed and grasped Clarke’s forearm. “Yes! Ohmygawd tell me everything she said, _exactly_ what she said.”

Clarke smiled and gladly relayed Lexa’s words.

* * *

 

“Hell no. I’m not drinking your moonshine, Monty. I love you, but that stuff needs to be banned by the FDA. Truthfully, I’m still not fully recovered from you last batch.”

“Oh come on, Clarke! Jasper, Maya, Murphy, Bellamy, everyone’s had a shot except for you! I think Raven is on her second.”

“Raven is a special case. I swear, her Latina genes make her immune to hangovers… And what about Octavia?! You didn’t give her a shot!” Clarke glanced pointedly between Monty and her roommate.

Raven shrugged while Octavia addressed the accusation, “I’m not gonna start drinking that stuff before Lincoln gets here!”

It was right at the moment that Lincoln walked in with Lexa and two girls Clarke didn’t recognize behind him. Lexa was looking as good as ever in a white tank top with her hands in the pockets of black skinny jeans. Clarke narrowed her eyes and felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach when she saw that one of the girls had her arm casually linked around Lexa’s.

“On second thought, Monty, I’ll take that shot.”

“That’s the party Griff we know and love!” Raven raised her shot in salute as Monty filled one for Clarke.

After both girls slammed their empty shot glasses back down on the table, Octavia took Clarke by the arm saying, “Come on, Griff, let’s go meet our Woods.”

“She’s not my Woods.” Clarke murmured under her breath, but let her roommate drag her to the entrance of the apartment.

Lincoln greeted Octavia with a hug. “Hey, Octavia. Hi, Clarke. I want you to meet my sister, Lexa.” Turning to Clarke with a smile, “I heard the photo shoot went well last night.” Gesturing to the brunette then the blonde around Lexa’s arm, “These are our friends Anya and Echo.”

Octavia, smiling to each girl, “It’s nice to meet you and we’re glad you could come out! I’m super excited to get to know some of Lincoln’s friends and family! Come on in and make yourself at home. Drinks are in the kitchen straight through there.”

Clarke found herself alone with Lexa, Anya, and Echo. Octavia and Lincoln already engaged in their own world. “So… I guess I’ll show you where the drinks are. You’ll want to watch out for that jug marked ‘Monty’s baby’. It’s moonshine and not for the faint of heart. I’m just warning you.”

* * *

 

“Why are you standing in the corner by yourself, Clarke?”

Clarke looked up from her drink to see the green eyes that have been taunting her in her dreams and threw back, “Why aren’t you with your entourage?”

A corner of Lexa’s mouth quirked up for a moment. “Are you jealous, Clarke?”

“I’m not jealous. I mean, there’s nothing going on between us anyway. Is there?”

Ignoring the question, “Regardless, you shouldn’t be worried. Anya is my best friends and after that debacle in college I told you about, we decided that it was best that we remained just friends. And now we see each other more as sisters. And Echo is just a friend.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “I don’t know. You two look like a couple.”

Lexa gave out a soft laugh, “That’s probably because Echo and I slept together in the past, a one-time deal. It’s true that she probably wants more out of our relationship, but I have made it clear that I just want to be friends.” Tilting her head, “Besides, she’s not my type.”

“What, you’re not into beautiful blondes?”

“I didn’t say that.” Gazing straight into Clarkes eyes, “I’m _definitely_ into beautiful blondes… But Echo and I don’t really connect on a deeper level. It would be detrimental to her if we continued to sleep together.” She adds, “I’m not seeing anyone, Clarke, or sleeping with anyone at the moment. You?”

“No...”

Before Clarke could think of an excuse to bypass this particularly touchy subject, they were interrupted by a very excited Jasper, “Clarke! Hot new girl! We’re gonna play spin the bottle!”

Clarke groaned, “Jaassssper… Do we always have to play that game? We’re not in college anymore. You just want a chance to make out with the new people. Surprise, all the girls are into other girls.”

Jasper’s grin grew even wider. “I know.”

Lexa laughed, holding her hand out. “Come on, Clarke. It’ll be fun.”

Clarke looked into those green eyes, dancing with amusement, and despite her better judgement, took the offered hand. Her heartrate skyrocketed and if Lexa wasn’t holding onto and leading her, she probably would have tripped over her own feet.

_This is a bad idea._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silly Jasper. As always, leave comments and/or kudos.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang plays spin the bottle. For your reading pleasure, there is smut in this chapter.

Clarke found herself seated in a circle with Lexa on her right and Octavia on her left. An empty beer bottle lay in the center.

Octavia looks around the room. “Alright, we’re going by house rules. A peck for the first time you land on someone. Tongue for at least 10 seconds the second time. Time starts when tongues meet. And 7 minutes in heaven if you land a third time on the same person. You can opt out, but that means you’re out of the circle for the rest of the game.” Taking ahold of the bottle, “I’ll spin first.”

The bottle completes a few turns and lands on an ecstatic Murphy. “Ugh, okay. It’s your lucky day Murph. Pucker up.” She crawls across the circle to land a quick kiss on the waiting boy.

Murphy lands on Luna, who lands on Raven. The boys catcall as the two girls kiss. Raven spins the bottle and lands on Clarke. Raven slinks over, “Clarke, baby, all your dreams are about to come true!” She pushes Clarke back into a seated position before straddling her for a heated kiss.

Breaking the kiss, Clarke glares at the girl still in her lap. “What the fuck, Raven?! It was just supposed to be a peck.”

“I wanna get this show on the road! And judging by the audience, we didn’t disappoint. Also, don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy it.” Raven winked at Clarke before getting off her and returning to her seat.

Clarke sighed before reaching for the bottle. It lands on a grinning Lexa. Not giving Lexa a chance to think about pulling a stunt like Raven, Clarke quickly leaned over and placed a chaste peck to the brunette’s plush lips.

Not wanting everyone to see the blush shooting up to her cheeks, Clarke stood up abruptly. “I’m gonna get another drink. Anyone one else want anything?”

Clarke returned to a circle of grinning people all looking at her. “What…” She looked into the middle of the group and found that the bottle was now pointing to her empty spot. Lexa’s spin had landed on Clarke.

“You have to use tongue now!”

“Jasper, I know the rules. Calm down.”

Once seated, Clarke found a waiting Lexa gazing softly into her eyes asking silently for permission to start. Clarke gave a slight nod. Lexa approached her and straddled Clarke much like Raven did earlier. Forest met sky before both closed their eyes.

Clarke felt soft lips touch hers. All surrounding noise faded into the distance. A shiver ran down her spine as she felt Lexa’s lips begin to move. Allowing the rational part of her brain to slip beneath her desire, Clarke responded. What began as a soft exploration slowly began to escalate. Lexa changed the angle of the kiss and licked for entrance, which Clarke readily granted.

_1_

Lexa’s tongue touched Clarke’s.

_2_

Clarke’s heart felt like it wanted out of her chest.

_3_

Lexa and Clarke fight for dominance.

_4_

Clarke relaxes and let’s Lexa take control.

_5_

Lexa’s hands move off her own lap and reach behind Clarke’s neck.

_6_

Lexa pulls Clarke closer to her body. Clarke’s hands fly to Lexa’s waist.

_7_

A low moan ripples through Clarke’s mouth. She’s not sure who made the noise.

_8_

Clarke’s fingers stroke Lexa’s hipbones underneath her tank, earning a slight jerk from the latter.

_9_

This time Clarke is sure that both her and Lexa moaned. Lexa continues the motion and grinds slowly into Clarke’s lower abdomen.

_10_

Lexa removes a hand from behind Clarke’s neck and begins to palm Clarke’s breast over her shirt.

_11_

“Time! Ladies, time!” Clarke drags her hand slowly up Lexa’s lower back as Lexa continues to pay attention to her breasts.

_12_

“Clarke! Lexa! I said time!”

As if waking up from a dream, Clarke pushed Lexa away and blinked. She saw green eyes opening and felt Lexa’s equally heavy breaths against her swollen lips. Looking down, she realized that Lexa still had her hand over her breast. Lexa noticed too and both hands shot off Clarke’s body. She moved to get off Clarke’s lap, removing Clarke’s hands off her in the process. Clarke immediately missed the weight and warmth of the other girl’s body.

“So… that was some kiss.”

Clarke looked at Octavia and tried to shrug it off. She tried to ignore the boys in the group that looked like Christmas came early.

Regaining her senses, Raven said, “Fuck, Princess, that was hot! It’s your spin again.”

Taking ahold of the bottle once again, Clarke spun it. _Please oh please oh please land on someone else. I don’t care who. I’ll even make out with Murphy._

Was it fate or fortune? The bottle comes to a halt on Lexa…

Bellamy gave a low whistle. “Wow, this must be the record for fastest to 7 minutes in heaven.”

“Not fair! Why don’t I ever get to 7 minutes in heaven?!” Jasper huffed.

“That’s because you’re too chicken to kiss a guy to last long enough in the game, dumbass.” Monty answered matter of factly, earning chuckles around the group.

* * *

 

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, Clarke.”

Clarke shifts, trying to find room in her small closet. “It’s not that I don’t want to…”

“What’s stopping you then?”

“I’m… not sure…”

Lexa moves closer. “Why don’t we continue what we started earlier and see where it leads us?”

But that was exactly what Clarke was nervous about. She was past the point of acknowledging her attraction to the brunette and didn’t know if she would be able to stop herself. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to stop herself. It would be so easy to let herself be consumed by desire. She craved intimacy with another person, but it’s been so long. Maybe this is what she needed.

Throwing rationality to the winds, Clarke surged forward and connected their lips. This kiss started exactly where the previous ended. No gentle exploration. This was all heat and need. Lexa responded immediately, slipping her tongue into Clarke’s waiting mouth and grabbing her ass to pull them flush together. Lexa backed Clarke into the near wall, landing her with a thump enough to break their kiss. Lexa immediately descended to kiss and lick down Clarke’s jaw and throat. Clarke let out a moan as she leaned her head against the wall to give Lexa more access. Hands flew to breasts, ass, hair, abs.

“Lexa, please, I need you.”

Not needing to be told twice, Lexa quickly removed one hand from Clarke’s breast to gently scrape down Clarke’s stomach and abs. She unbuttoned the front of her jeans to slip a hand against Clarke’s skin and through her folds.

Breaking their kiss, “Fuck, Clarke, you’re so wet.”

“Shut up.” Clarke connected their lips again as Lexa began to move, slipping a finger, then two into Clarke’s entrance. It didn’t take long before Clarke’s hips were meeting every one of Lexa’s thrusts. She was so close. Something Lexa noticed. She began to curl her fingers into Clarke’s front wall. Lexa held Clarke as her hips became more erratic.

“Baby,” Lexa pressed down on her clit with her thumb, “Clarke, let go.”

With the combined stimulation to her front wall, clit, and Lexa saying her name, Clarke froze for a second before she started spasming uncontrollably with a loud high-pitched moan. Lexa held her weight as she slacked and pumped her fingers slowly in and out, helping Clarke ride out her orgasm.

“Clarke! Lexa! That’s time!”

Hearing Octavia call her name, Clarke regains her senses and puts a hand on the arm Lexa had down her pants, signaling her to stop. Not breaking eye contact, Lexa removes her hand from Clarke’s pants and with a moan, slowly licks her fingers clean.

“You taste simply divine, Clarke.” Lexa finishes licking her fingers and runs a hand through her locks. She buttons up Clarke’s pants for her. “As much as I would love to continue this, we should get back to our friends.”

“Yeah, yeah we should.”

Lexa gently takes Clarke’s hand when she doesn’t make a move to get out of the closet and leads them both back to the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Clexa happened! You all can go home now! But of course the plot thickens. As always, please leave comments and/or kudos <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things blow out of proportion and misunderstandings abound.

Lexa drops Clarke’s hand as they reach their friends in the living room. They’ve resumed the game but pause again to whoop and holler as they see the couple emerge from Clarke’s room.

“Hell yeah, get it girl!” “You go, Griff!” “Ow ow, Sexy Lexi!”

Clarke blushes profusely and tries to ignore the comments, especially the ones coming from a particular corner of boys.

“So how was it? What’ll you guys do?” Jasper questions greedily.

“Um… we kissed…” Clarke starts vaguely.

Lexa interrupts, “Jasper, I really don’t think it’s any of your business. You barely know me. If you want to get off to something, go watch some sleazy fake lesbian porn online.”

Jasper blushes as the group laughs and teases him. He leaves the group muttering something about getting more to drink. As focus moves to Anya as she spins the bottle, Clarke turns to Lexa and gently places a hand on her knee as thanks. Lexa gives a small nod and smile in return.

* * *

 

The evening nears midnight. The bottle lays abandoned in one corner of the room. Music is pumping through the speakers and the group split into smaller subsets. Clarke glances over to the makeshift dance floor where Raven is currently dancing rather closely to Anya. There are other couples as well. However, she notices that Octavia and Lincoln are conveniently missing. Going back to the kitchen for another drink, she spies Lexa talking to Echo. Lexa has her back leaned against the kitchen island, drink in hand. Echo is standing in between her legs with her fingers lightly ghosting over Lexa’s free arm.

Clarke really shouldn’t be jealous. Lexa isn’t hers to have. She can do whatever she wants with whomever she wants to. But it’s so hard to not feel some attachment when Lexa seemed so genuine in her interest in her just a moment ago. And now she’s flirting with the same girl that she claimed she had no desire to sleep with again. _It’s not like I should be surprised._ Clarke already had the heads up from Lincoln that Lexa sleeps around.

She really needs a drink. Clarke storms past the couple and pours a generous shot of Monty’s moonshine, throws it back, and pours another. As she proceeds to shoot back the second shot, Lexa looks up and reaches out, “Hey, Clarke, I think you’ve had enough.”

“You don’t know if I’ve had enough. You don’t know me, Lexa. But you know what? I have had enough. Of whatever that’s going on between us.” She gestures between the both of them.

“Clarke, I—“

“You know what? Just save it. I’m leaving.” Clarke pushes past a confused Lexa. “Hey, Raven, I’m gonna grab a cab to Grounders. Wanna come with?”

Raven pulls away from Anya, “And go dancing?! Hell yeah! Anya?”

“Yeah, I’ll come too. Let me tell Lexa and Echo.” She smirks, “I don’t think we need to bother Lincoln.”

Twenty minutes later, Clarke finds herself crammed in a cab with Raven, Anya, Lexa, and Echo. She really would have preferred if the latter two stayed back at the apartment, but at least she would be able to get away from them at the club.

* * *

 

“Clarke, I think you’ve had enough.”

“I’m fine, Rae. This is only like the second shot. I’ve had way more than this, you know that.”

“That’s your third, love. And you had Monty’s moonshine. _You_ know that doesn’t mix well with anything. And yes, you’ve had way more than this, but that’s what I’m worried about. You haven’t had this much to drink since Finn…and your father.”

“Don’t fucking mention Finn!”

“Clarke –“

“And fuck you for bringing up my father!”

“Clarke, what is this about? Does this have anything to do with what happened earlier tonight with Lexa?”

“Especially don’t fucking bring her up!”

“Clarke. I. Am. Your. Friend. Stop fucking snapping at me and just fucking talk to me! What the hell happened?! You guys seemed like you were getting along well at your place and then I don’t know what happened!”

Sighing, “We fucking kissed.”

“Yes, we all saw that.”

“Shut up, Rae, and just let me get this out.”

“Sorry, sorry I’ll be quiet.”

“We fucking kissed and it felt so right. You know I haven’t gone on a date since that one guy you and O tried to set me up with.”

“Again, sorry for him. He seemed so normal when we met him at Monty and Jasper’s.”

“Monty and Jasper’s? Well that explains some things. Anyway, I haven’t dated anyone or slept with anyone –“

“Wait, sorry, I have to interrupt. You haven’t slept with anyone since Finn?!”

Dropping her head into her palm, “Rae, I know that’s a long time. Don’t be a jerk about it. I don’t do casual, you know that.”

“Ok, ok go on.”

“Um… but the thing is… Um…”

“She fucked you in your closet.”

“Wait! What the fuck?! How did you know? And why do you think she fucked me and not the other way around?”

“Clarke. You guys smelled like sin when you came back. And have you seen Lexa? She definitely did the fucking. Also, you had on that same satisfied look on your face when you’ve been thoroughly fucked.”

“How do you even know what that looks like. Wait, I don’t want to know.”

“Whatever, Princess. You and Finn were disgustingly gross during college.”

“Okay, so she fucked me. But then what the fuck, the next minute she has Echo all over her. I thought we were going somewhere. She clearly isn’t the relationship type.” Gesturing at the dance floor, “Just look at her! She’s dancing up on whoever-the-fuck-that-is. Did she just meet her? Like what the fuck? I should have gone with my gut after what Lincoln said.”

“What the fuck did Lincoln say?”

Clarke and Raven turn to see a seething Anya, empty glasses in hand and looking like she wanted another round.

“Anya, um, nothing.”

“What the fuck did Lincoln say about Lexa?!”

“He just mentioned that Lexa sleeps with a lot of women. One-night stands and stuff.”

“Lincoln said that. He wouldn’t say that. And Lexa isn’t like that. At least not anymore.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve heard that before. My fucking ex used that fucking line before I found him balls deep in my lab partner!”

“And you think you’re the only one that’s been cheated on? You think you’re the only one hurting?”

“You know what? I don’t have to take shit from you.” Signaling to the bartender, “Give me another.” Downing the shot, “Rae, I’ll see you later. I’m gonna go fucking dance.”

* * *

 

Clarke is currently backing into a willing partner on the dance floor. She’s choosing to ignore that this woman also has long hair and a sharp jaw line, not unlike another woman she knows.

_Her hair color is wrong._

She grinds harder into the woman’s crotch at that thought, eliciting a moan from the other woman.

The woman leans forward and yells over the thundering bass, “You wanna go somewhere a little more private, maybe to the back of the club?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Making their way through the crowd of sweaty bodies, Clarke and the woman she can’t remember the name of slink into the shadows at the back of the bar near the bathrooms. The woman wastes no time in turning Clarke around as she pins her against the wall to crash their lips together. It’s all physical need with none of the intimacy.

As fast as this woman is moving, it’s not fast enough. Clarke grabs her by one arm and uses her other to push off the woman’s hips to reverse their positions. She becomes the aggressor, pinning the woman’s hands above their heads and pulling her shirt collar down to fervently attack her neck with kisses. Going by her moans, Clarke is doing a good job. But something is off.

_Her collar bones are too sharp. Her lips too thin._

Clarke kisses this woman harder and starts moving a hand down to unbutton her pants in an attempt to not give her mind time to wander too far. With the button popped, Clarke quickly moves past pants and underwear to find the woman dripping. She hasn’t fucked a woman since before Finn, but out of being single for so long, she’s knows what she’s doing.

Gathering some wetness, she quickly flicks over her clit a few times before plunging two fingers into her entrance, eliciting a loud moan. The woman is more than ready for her, so Clarke sets a brutal pace from the beginning. She knows the woman isn’t too far from the edge, which is good since she knows her wrist will start cramping soon due to the restricted space. Clarke maneuvers her hand so that she can press her thumb on the woman’s clit as she curls her fingers. It doesn’t take long for the woman to come with what would probably have been a deafening scream if they were in a quieter atmosphere.

Clarke removes her hand and gives the woman a minute to recover before she’s being turned back around, the thump of her back matching the thump of the bass. She’s ready for a quick release, but something in her peripheral catches her eye. She glances up to see Raven looking at her and Anya turned around, grabbing someone’s arm.

_Oh shit_.

It’s Lexa. Her face is unreadable. Lexa twists her arm to shake Anya off, turns, and leaves. Anya rushes after her. Raven gives Clarke a hesitant look before following after them.

“Stop, stop.” Clarke pushes the woman off her.

“What’s wrong? Do you wanna continue this elsewhere?”

“Yes. No. Uh, fuck!”

“Does this have to do with that brunette girl you were staring at for half the night?”

“Shit, what the fuck?! Does everyone know my business?”

The other woman shrugs, “So I guess that’s a yes. I’ll just go.”

“Wait, I’m so sorry. I don’t usually do this sort of thing… What was your name again? Maybe we can meet up some other time for coffee or something?”

“Forget it, Clarke. I can see that there’s something going on between the two of you. I like a good fuck, but I also don’t like to be strung along or be some revenge fuck or whatever’s happening here.”

The woman turns to go, but pauses, “The name is Niylah, by the way. Maybe we’ll meet again at a different time, when you’re available. I really did enjoy this time with you, Clarke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke, oh, Clarke. Please leave comments and/or kudos <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone in Clarke's life tiptoes around the whole Lexa situation.

“Clarke, are you going to keep ignoring me?”

“I’m not ignoring you. I just don’t have anything to say to you right now, Rae.”

“Bullshit. You know what I mean, you’ve barely said ten words to me all week.”

Clarke sighs.

“I’ve already apologized for leaving you at Grounders on Saturday. You seemed like you were being taken care of and was going home with that girl. And Anya was upset and was chasing after Lex–“

“Don’t – finish that statement.”

“I’m not 100% sure what’s going on with you and her. You told me that you were connecting with her, but you fuck a random chick at the club just because she’s dancing with another girl?”

“I _don’t_ believe this, Rae, you’re taking _her_ side? I’m sure you’ve slept with Anya by now, but really? We’ve been friends for how long?”

“Clarke, Clarke, calm down. I’m not taking sides. I’m just trying to understand what’s going on. Anya told me a little about what happened to Lexa in the past. She didn’t tell me everything, but enough to make me think that maybe you don’t know the real Lexa. You should talk to her. It sounds like her past is as complicated as yours and probably not too different.”

She deadpans, “What. Her father died and left her with a mother that doesn’t support her life goals. And her boyfriend cheated on her with God knows how many girls before dying in a car crash so she can’t even be mad at him.”

“All I’m saying is that she’s got a lot of shit in her past too, Clarke. Don’t need to be a jerk about it.” Raven adds, “Clarkey, I love you and I care about you. I don’t want you to write her off yet. I don’t think the connection you felt with her was completely off.”

Sighing again, “I know. I’m sorry, Rae Bae. Octavia has been saying the same thing to me all week. Why do you both have to be fucking the people closest to Lexa?”

Raven shrugs, “Anya is fucking hot. And hot people tend to be attracted to other hot people.”

“You and your backdoor compliments.”

* * *

 

Clarke is alone at the studio. She’s currently seated with her laptop in front of her, flipping through the ten or so frames she’s narrowed the collection down to. She’s already switched all the photos to black and white to match the rest of the work she’s showcasing at the gallery opening. Even in a still photo, Clarke can’t seem to hold Lexa’s green eyes for more than a few seconds at a time.

Octavia and Raven’s words swirl in her head, colliding with the image of Lexa she formed off Lincoln’s words. And there was that question Anya asked her, _“And you think you’re the only one that’s been cheated on? You think you’re the only one hurting?”_

So maybe someone cheated on Lexa.

_She probably deserved it. She’s fucking all over every single girl that expresses any interest. I can’t believe I let her fuck me in the closet. What kind of irony is that?_

Clarke ignores the small part of her brain that’s telling her that that’s a vast assumption. Or she tries to anyway.

_So maybe I should try to reach out to her again. She’s going to be at the gallery opening in a week. At least she might be. I might have fucked that up… This is so fucking awkward._

She decides to make a last minute change to one of the images before choosing three of the ten to print onto canvas for the show.

* * *

 

“Why do they always paint a few of the girls as crazy?”

“This is the Bachelor, Clarkey. It’s not interesting if all the girls were perfect pictures of civility. I bet some of these women are paid to be on the program to start shit for viewership purposes.”

“I thought this is reality TV?”

“Please, Clarke, if reality TV was exactly like reality, it would be boring as hell.” She adds, “Although your current reality wouldn’t be too boring to watch. Maybe a cable channel would pick it up.”

“I’m glad you can make jokes about my life, O.”

Octavia blows a kiss across the couch to where Clarke is sitting. “Did you contact Lexa?”

“I,” Clarke sighs, “I don’t know what to say to her.”

“ ‘I’m sorry, Lexa. I sometimes don’t know how to express myself when I have a lot of feelings and then I got a random voyeuristic urgency that I just couldn’t stop. I’m sorry for fucking a stranger in front of everyone at the club we were both at right after you fucked the living daylights out of me earlier that night.’ “

Clarke slapped Octavia lightly, “Shut up. And why does everyone think that Lexa fucked me and not the other way around?”

“Are you kidding me? Have you seen Lexa? She definitely did the fucking.”

“Oh my gawd… that’s what Raven said too.”

“Although Raven did tell me that you were the one that fucked that girl at the club.”

“Is nothing sacred?”

“You know there aren’t any secrets among the three of us.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“And you love us.”

Clarke laughs, “Yes, O. I love both of you. And I think you two are right. I’ll call or text Lexa very soon. I do want her to come to the gallery opening this Friday. She is the main focus of the collection.”

“Yeah, that’s one killer shot. And I can’t believe you have a shot of her half naked with her hand down her underwear. No wonder you didn’t want me looking at the initial shots. What other compromising photos of her do you have? Do you use them to get off with?”

Clarke shoots her roommate a dark look.

Octavia chuckles in response, “Okay, okay. Too soon?”

* * *

 

Lying in bed, Clarke unlocks, locks, and unlocks her phone. She opens up a conversation with Lexa and starts typing, erases, pauses, types, erases. Exasperated, Clarke tosses the phone to the foot of the bed and throws herself onto her back.

Glancing up at the ceiling, she focuses on the glow-in-the-dark stars. She tends to forget they’re there. She and Octavia put them on the ceiling one night when they all got high and reminisced about the stars they could see in the night sky of their home town. They had driven to Walmart and bought the plastic stars and stuck them to her bedroom ceiling. In retrospect, they probably shouldn’t have driven while still high, but you don’t make the best decisions when you’re high…

_Is that a penis?_

Clarke doesn’t remember what shapes they formed when pasting the stars. But apparently high Clarke and Octavia acted like teenage boys.

_I bet Lexa knows the constellations. She used to use them to find her way home. Home._

With that, she picks her phone up again and starts typing.

 

> To Lexa: _Lexa, this is Clarke. I got your number from Octavia who got it from Lincoln. First off, I’m sorry for the way I acted last weekend. I know this apology is coming late. I think there were some misunderstandings on my part, so I want to come completely clean. You probably already know this, but I started developing more than friendly feelings toward you. I don’t know about you, but that was a scary moment to admit to myself. I have some shit in my past that makes it hard to take that kind of step with somebody. I know that’s not really an excuse. But I do want to say that the time I have spent with you reminded me of a feeling I haven’t felt in a long time. It’s an overwhelming pull, the kind that seems like you’re being swallowed by the other person, like you aren’t just one person anymore. It’s something I related with the feeling I had for my ex-boyfriend right before I found out that he had been cheating on me. It devastated me then and I admit that I’m not completely over it. But then you came along and I’m starting to realize something. That overwhelming pull I had been associating with a great loss was something before that. That pull initially was the strong connectiveness I felt with another person that I trusted. And it’s not fair to cloud that feeling with the automatic assumption that I’m about to get fucked over by that person. Because before Finn cheated on me, that feeling was something warm, something solid. It felt like home._
> 
> To Lexa: _I know that was probably the longest text in the history of longest texts. But I truly am sorry. I really hope I haven’t royally fucked up our relationship beyond repair. And by relationship, I don’t really mean relationship. Maybe we can start with being friends? I really do want you to come to the gallery opening this Friday. I think you would be pleased with the results of our shoot. Again, I’m sorry._
> 
> To Lexa: _Oh right, you need the address and time. Show starts at 7 pm. I’ll link you the address._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooo how will Lexa react? Will she show up to the opening?! Please leave comments and/or kudos <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the gallery opening! Will Lexa show up?!

Radio silence. Radio silence all week. Initially, she thought maybe she texted the wrong number. But she checked with Octavia, who checked with Lincoln. Yes, she got the right number. In a fit of frustration, she called the number. It went to voicemail after ringing a handful of times.

_“You’ve reached the phone of Alexandria Woods. Please leave your name and contact information and I will call back as soon as I can.”_

Wow, talk about cold shoulder.

_Did she make this voicemail greeting just for me?_

Every person she knew her age that didn’t have a “serious” job had greetings with way more character than that. That message seemed like it was given by a wall.

Clarke hung up the phone before the beep and sighed.

“I told you it was the right number.”

“I know you did, O. I just wanted to make sure. She didn’t answer. Again.”

“Give her some time. Lincoln told me that he regrets saying those things about Lexa when you guys first met. He jumped to conclusions and was afraid that she had regressed into how she was right after the whole thing with her ex.”

“What thing? And what ex?”

“I’m not sure exactly what happened. I got that Lexa was incredibly hurt and had a period of time where she _was_ sleeping around. But Lincoln told me that she doesn’t do that anymore.”

“Okay, I guess I can’t blame her for that. I kind of went off after I saw her dancing with those people…”

“Like I said, Clarkey Poo, give it time. I really think you guys could have something.”

“But Friday is tomorrow! I have no idea if she’ll show.”

“Lincoln’s working on it. And I think Raven has convinced Anya to try too. She’ll show.”

“How do you know that though?”

“And she’s gonna see the photos you took of her and fall in love with you!”

“I don’t know what fantasy you’re living in. But, O, my life doesn’t work like that.”

“But that was before.”

“Before what?”

“Before you were ready for someone new to come into your life, Clarke.”

_Is that true? Am I ready to let someone that close to me again? Maybe. Yeah, maybe. I think I am._

“That’s right, Clarke, you’re ready. Don’t let this opportunity slip away. And don’t worry about Lexa. Your photos are too good for her to not come. She must have some narcissistic part of her that wants to see how the photos came out right?”

“I think you’re describing Raven.”

“You might be right.”

* * *

 

The night of the show, Clarke is standing in one of the adjoining rooms looking into the main gallery. Raven has really come through with bringing Dante’s vision together. Some of the artwork is hung by wires from trees of wood and steel. Clarke’s work is part of a larger collaboration of local artists, but hers is the main feature. And as such, her work is showcased in the main gallery. Clarke ordered her photos in such a way that Lexa is the first and last image patrons see as they move through the gallery.

“It looks good, Princess. You did a great job putting together the whole gallery, especially your work.”

“Thanks, Rae. You know I can’t take all the credit. You’re just as much a part of this gallery as I am. I still don’t understand why Dante doesn’t let me put your name next to the installations. I swear he must be trying to keep you to himself. Doesn’t want other people in the art industry to know who designs the gallery space so they can steal you.”

“Charming. Can’t complain though. He pays me plenty and you know I don’t like to be in the limelight. Leave that to you artists.”

Clarke scoffed, “That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard. O and I were just talking about your ego last night.”

“What ego?!”

“I bet you’re still hurt that I didn’t ask you to be a model.”

“Okay, so I’m a little peeved that you never asked me. Have you seen me? My body is built from welding heavy things together all day!”

“Nobody is saying you don’t have a great body, Rae. I just wouldn’t be able to take a shoot seriously if it was someone really close to me like you or O. Like good luck if it was Jasper or Bell. We would just be cracking up the whole time.”

“Alright, I give you that. Oh my god, what if you had Monty as a model?”

“I couldn’t. He’s just a cute little baby. No work would be done. So you see, that’s why I asked complete strangers.

“But could you really call them strangers after some of those shoots? Man those shots of Lexa. That last shot. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought you two were sleeping together on the regular.”

“I think there was a compliment in there somewhere?”

“It’s all compliments today, Princess. You’ve earned it. Show’s about to start. You ready?”

“I’m ready.”

* * *

 

There’s only one hour left of the show. Most of the art has already been sold, hers included. There had been many bids on the last photo of Lexa, but Clarke couldn’t bring herself to let that one go. She politely declined each offer and countered that it wasn’t for sale.

Clarke slowly makes rounds through the crowd and art. She makes sure to answer any remaining questions the patrons may have about the art or artists and keeps the food and wine flowing. Octavia and Lincoln are in one corner talking to Anya and Raven. She sees Jasper and Monty sneaking a flask of probably moonshine between them. Clarke just hopes that they haven’t had too much. She’s surprised to find that Echo is here talking to Bellamy and Murphy. They didn’t hit it off well and yet she’s here.

_Lexa’s not even here for her to cling all over. Dang it, I need to stop that. I have nothing to be jealous about._

Clarke nears the end again. The gallery isn’t as full as the start of the show, so she has no problem spotting a lone woman standing in front of the last photo. There’s an overwhelming ease about this woman that Clarke can spot anywhere. She doesn’t need to wait for the woman with long cascading brunette waves to turn around to know who it is.

“Clarke.”

“You made it, Lexa.”

There’s that half smile Clarke has come to associate with Lexa.

“That I have.”

Clarke looks the other woman over and she must admit that this is Lexa’s best look so far. Lexa is wearing a black fitted suit, crisp white shirt, and black skinny tie. She’s glad she went out on a whim and put on her best form-fitting black dress that cut off mid-thigh. Because if dark lingering eyes are anything to go by, Lexa is certainly enjoying the view.

“I didn’t know if you would. I’m so sorry how I acted, I—“

“Clarke, stop. You don’t need to apologize anymore. I came tonight because I wanted to talk to you.”

“Yeah, of course. The event is wrapping up in less than an hour. I’ll need to hang around for maybe 30 minutes after to close things down. But you can wait in the office for me?”

“That would be perfect. Take your time.” She adds, “The photos are lovely.”

Clarke can’t help but grin. “You like them?”

Lexa cocks her head to the side. “This last one is the only one in the collection that’s in color.”

An immediate blush colors Clarke’s face. “Yes…” She hesitates only for a moment before remembering her resolve to be completely truthful, “That’s because prior to that, my life was shadows. I didn’t realize that I was missing a certain something and that it could be filled again… Is that cheesy?”

Lexa slowly shakes her head, “Well if it is, I feel the same.” She smiles again, “I’ll meet you in your office in an hour or so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was writing, I realized that I couldn't fit everything in one chapter, so I'm splitting it. Next chapter will include some talk between Clarke and Lexa... and some not talk ;)  
> And the ending of this chapter is so cheeseballz, yeah?


End file.
